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I can make light of the situation now, but the start of the week was very stressful, as I had to handle my first ever complaint as a piano tutor.
Sure I’ve had trial sessions in the past which haven’t worked out, that’s normal, but this one had started just before Christmas, had come back for most of January then the first week of February decided they’d had enough, and rather than tell me politely, the mother sent me an accusatory email after 10pm on the Monday evening after their lesson.
At the end of the day, I do still have a disorder. Disorders are incurable, but overcoming it to me is about learning to hone into the strengths of it, and taming the everyday situations. I have genuinely overcome most of it, but in mid 2022, I wondered how would I stop the bigger triggers from happening?
I can’t stop them from happening, because they come out of nowhere, they still affect me in the way they used to – the heart palpitations, the cold chill, the tight chest. The difference these days is I have a good support network, and I can calm myself within 24 hours, whereas previously a big trigger could take me months to come down again… In fact this time, I even managed to get to sleep at bedtime and STAY asleep, which was unheard of previously.
What happened?
I won’t go into finer details, but I was told I was unprofessional because I’d asked the student if they could play my piano quietly. I made an off-cuff remark that my child was trying to sleep upstairs. As far as I knew, they took note and accepted my advice.
A month later it seems not, and those requests were twisted into “How dare you tell my child to play quieter because your child is in the next room?! Why isn’t your studio soundproofed, this is not acceptable!”
Rather than jump to the defensive, my rational brain was able to take over and reply with clarity and facts.
My child does not get disturbed by my piano, otherwise I wouldn’t offer any slots at that time of day. I don’t have soundproofing because I don’t need it, when my piano is played sensibly. The idea of playing the piano is supposed to be a relaxed experience, not a battle [to the death!]
My piano is my childhood piano. It’s been in my possession since I was three years old. Forgive me if I’m a bit precious about it, but I’d like to keep it intact so others including myself can play it for many years to come. This child was hammering it like there was no tomorrow on the first session. You know it’s too loud when your own watch gives you a “loudness” warning…
To my current students, I love you all! You all have your individual ways of learning, and I love picking up bits from you as well as inspiring you and having fun with my piano, but I also want to thank you, for treating my piano with the respect it deserves <3
To any future students: It’s not personal if I ask you to play a bit quieter, but if you relax into it like I suggest, then playing it is like a dream not a nightmare. There will always be bumps in the road, but we navigate them together, because the learning journey is not a straight road. One day you will be a master of your skill if you persevere and put the work in. <3
I wouldn’t be a pianist if it wasn’t a dream. Being a pianist and piano tutor is one of my main passions, and my calling. I’m strong, I’m resilient, I’m the Tropic Pianist Gamer.
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